i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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