Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
