Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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