I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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