Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
