We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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