At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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