I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
