Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
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