We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I am one with the molecules
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
