There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
