coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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