Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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