Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
