Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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