he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
