I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
