so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
