do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
His nipple licking is glorious
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