You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
