I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
