i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
