He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
