It's like God shit irony all over that family
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
