Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
