So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
