Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize