But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize