Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
