I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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