she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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