So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
