i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
