So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
