If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
