did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just found puke in my bra..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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