I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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