I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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