whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
