what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
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