Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize