I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
