Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
