I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
