ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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