it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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