so that wasnt chicken after all
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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