What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
