We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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