i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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