you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
