I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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