he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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