My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
