Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
