I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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