So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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