I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
