I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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