I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
