what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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