"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize