We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
