and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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