Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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