so that wasnt chicken after all
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
