Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
