And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
