Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize