Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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