Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
